Influence

I am way too old for guilt!

If I were able to remember way back, I could find way too many things to feel guilty about. At this stage of my life I can only focus on going forward. I truly believe that is a true "sign of life".

I have just finished the cleaning of our master bath for the, ah ah maybe thousandth time. Probably should have done this a week or so ago, but at this rate I won't have to do it for a while again. Really a good thing the bathroom police hadn't shown up yet. My mother certainly wouldn't have let it get to this state. No, my mother never seemed to put things off, nor did she really ever take the time to sit down, much less to read a book. When you have a parent like her, you can have a tendency to feel guilty about a lot of things.

My mom did enjoy a good cup of coffee however. I believe coffee was about her only vice. Every time we would go shopping or take a short trip, or need to talk, she would sit down for a few minutes with a cup of coffee. I miss her but also know she's in a place where all the coffee is free.

We grew up in a parsonage, so my mother felt a real need to live in a "perfect" home. Our house was owned and provided by the congregation, therefore it needed to be treated with respect. You never knew when one of the "owners" may come by for a visit.

All of us were used to living in an organized place with an attention to detail. I believe that is why I feel guilty or uncomfortable if I am not on top of things in our home. It is difficult to maintain those same standards and to fit in personal needs I.e. reading, blogging, face booking, texting, etc. maybe if Mom had some of these obligations in her life, she would have had a more relaxed life.

It is good to reflect on our past and evaluate the standards set for us to see if those standards are still part of our current life. Thanks Mom and Dad for the life you provided us kids. It has kept a continued influence on me.

Miss you,
Jan